Fuck Off

Fuck Off! Erm…I mean yes

Fuck off! She said

And his legs turned to lead

Frozen

Was the moment dead?

What if she means to say no?

A giggle

That’s right,

It was only a joke,

Not something I actually said

But no, he meant it

And he was going to say so

I mean it, he said

Will you be my wife?

And stay with me

Until the end of my life?

But what if we live

Till we’re ninety five

And your belly grows fat

And I start to hate all your hats,

The way that you laugh,

The sound of your voice,

And we both forget

This was our choice

Even then, will I still be your wife?

And what about if

I no longer make you laugh,

And the money runs low,

Kids pull at our legs,

You forget I’m not just a Mum

I’m also a wife,

A person,

A friend,

The love of your life

Even then, will I still be your wife?

Yes, he said

Even when your smile becomes tight

And you’re so tired

You barely remember my name

Caroline, Charlotte, PAUL!

When your skin becomes loose

And tinged with the colour blue

And your hair grows grey,

When the lines of your smile

No longer go away,

When there are days

That I forget how you’re

The love of my life;

And that I asked you

To be my wife

On a mountain one night

When everything was perfect

And the timing felt right

Even then I still want you

To be my wife

Fuck off!

She said

On they day they met

Fuck off!

She said

Erm…I mean yes

Go on then

I’ll take your bet

Words

Words

By Hannah Smith

I could weave a word or two

I could say them

Just for you

I could say the love

You feel

Will last until

The silence and the still

As your words fade away

I could talk of a seed

You found

A seed you chose to sow

Planted inside each others soul

To help it grow

I could say a word

That means more than I can know

An absent word

That gets louder every day

As your love

Continues to grow

You can cry the absent word

Inside the hearts

Of both of you

As stand here together

You start your family anew

You can say a word

Or two

You can say a vow,

I do

You can say I love you

Now

Until the day

I no longer get to see you

You can say

I love you now

You can say I do

But none of this really

Speaks of you

The trials

The joy

The hurt

The fun

The love

The trust

The companionship

The understanding

The mis-understanding

The trials

Of just being you

And you

I can say how proud I feel

Of both of you

I can say how happy

I am

I can say that word

That’s missing

Lives again today

Inside of you

I can say

I love you

But none of this speaks of you

Words can do much

And they can do

Nothing at all

It’s not the words

The words feel too small

It’s the actions that we do

The experiences

The loan of a shoulder

An ear

The hands that hold you

Even the hands that are

No longer here

I can say a word or two

I can say them

Just for you

You can say your vow today

You can say I do

But none of this

Speaks of you

Because words can do much

And they do nothing at all

It’s the lives that we live

The experiences we share

It’s all of us here today

Just for you

Because we care

It’s the two of you

Stood right there

Jumping forwards

Together

It’s the life we live now

The life we live forever

Its the love and loss we leave

Behind

It’s the memories that we share

Inside all of us

Even the ones that are

No longer there

I could say a word or two

I could say them just for you

I can say I love you

As I watch you say

I do

An Empty Chair

An Empty chair that sat beside her
The TV blaring louder
An unread book and
The inner silence 
That began to blind her.

But this was a woman with memories still
Of legs dangling down behind the van
A brand new city where the family ran
A life of stitches and hems began.

Then came the war and the bombs
And the roar
As Germans tried to take over this shore.

Packed off to the country
Three children were sent
It's safer there
was how the story went.

No love or kindness was found
And soon they returned
London bound
They stayed here as the bombs fell down
And finally victory
And parties all round.

Soon she was sent to the land
To work in the fields for the men
Picking potatoes and hoeing a field
It seemed a long way from stitching a hem.

Interrupted they were by a rabble
Of men
Working beside them
These strange German enemies
Who had tried to override them.

Her heart took a while
For him to catch, a fight and a struggle
And some charm to match
This strange German soon held her hand
And together they put on a wedding band.

There followed three children
A boy then a girl then a baby brand new
Also coloured in blue.

A family complete
Now life really began
As planted in colour her garden grew
And up sprang the seeds of
Her family brand new.

Grand babies appeared almost every year
A house filled with laughter
And unrivalled cheer.

Mountains of cakes
Decorated the plates
Nine smiling faces
Covered in cream
Swarmed at the hem
She had stitched with such care
For her to wear.

Nan, I need help,
Don't worry I'm here
A stitch and a thread
And something was created in red,
In blue, in gold, 
In whatever thread.

Ask her for anything 
And make it she could,
Need her one day
And be there she would.

But time passes quickly
Children grow
A once busy life
Began to slow.

As her soldier began to wither and fade
She fed him with water,
With care and the memories they had made
But from this place he would leave her
And off she would travel to countries
Brand new
And onto the buses
Each day she would go
Hoping to find her World anew.

But time wore her down
And took her by the hand
Come rest here, it said
And there she sat down.

And as each day passed
She gave a memory away
A life lived full,
There was no more room
For them to stay.

With tired eyes 
She rested her head
And then finally
She took to her bed.

She closed her eyes
And with one breath
She left
An empty chair there
No longer beside her
But left there behind her.



For my Nan, 
Kathleen Smith 
19th Feb 1928 - 17th March 2013

Conversations with Van Gogh

VG:That's not how I paint.

H: What?

VG:That's not how I approach a canvass at all. You're missing the point.

H: But I'm not supposed to represent you as you paint, I'm supposed to represent the movement of your painting.

VG:You are still wrong. Look again. I am not circular and you have missed the texture entirely.

H: I was just trying something out, it wasn't finished.

VG:Sighs